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Culture Dump: The Problem With Modern Movie Cliffhangers

4/24/2019

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Reader beware: The long-awaited conclusion to Marvel’s sprawling cinematic universe arrives this week with heroic hype-machine Avengers: Endgame - and spoilers are everywhere. Of course, having your viewing experience tarnished by an overly-blabby punter is nothing new - but in today’s chatter-obsessed digital world it’s become something that requires staggering amounts of vigilance to shield yourself from. Social media sites have even started using bespoke filters to help protect your peepers from potential plot points - and yet with the pure excess of information gushing through our newsstreams, it’s still possible to encounter a spoiler before you even realise you’ve seen it. First world problem? Sure. Annoying? Definitely. 

It makes you nostalgic for the days where movie cliffhangers really carried some weight. However Cap and co counteract that infamous Thanos click, it’s hard to ignore the countless ads, teases and announcements we’ve already had for future instalments of Marvel’s supposedly dusted heroes. Our insatiable need for literally any shred of movie information or newsworthy nuggets has all but sapped any of the peril Infinity Game’s open-ended climax had - and in turn, it’s robbed us of the full potency of the Russo Brothers’ master plan. Undoubtedly the internet and all of its connectivity, opportunity, cat gifs and fail videos has done a lot of good - but for movie-fans, it’s irrevocably changed the viewing experience. 

In a pre-web world, this wasn’t the case. It may seem like an eon ago - but cast your mind back and imagine what it must have been like to watch a movie cliffhanger when there was nothing - literally nothing - you could do but wait for the ending of the story to materialise. No shoddy set pictures shot on camera phones from street corners, no accidental plot leaks from sweaty-palmed crew members rolled out for interviews whenever the stars were unavailable - not even any unsubstantiated think-pieces or geeky ‘things you didn’t notice’ scene analyses on YouTube to dissect. All you had was time. Plenty of time. It’s a hard scenario to picture these days but it definitely existed.

Now put yourself in the cinema seat of a moviegoer watching The Empire Strikes Back for the very first time in 1980. Imagine seeing it come to a close: Luke bested by Vader and missing a hand, mysterious rumours of another Skywalker hiding somewhere in the galaxy, Han imprisoned in carbonite and sold off to a bounty hunter - and then: credits. What would you have thought as you stared at the screen, mouth agape, pondering the pure WTF-ness of it all whilst knowing that you wouldn’t get any answers or closure at all until Episode VI arrived in three years time? It goes without saying that the internet has given us a wealth of information right at our fingertips - spoilers and all - but sometimes, ignorance is bliss. 

Do you think decent movie cliffhangers are gone for good? Let me know in the comment section below!
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Culture Dump: What We Know About Bill And Ted Face The Music So Far

2/17/2019

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This weekend marks the 30th anniversary of Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, the slacker teen comedy that proved smarts aren’t always integral for success - heart counts too. After all, it was the enduring friendship of Bill S. Preston Esq and Ted Theodore Logan (and their real-life counterparts Alex Winter and Keanu Reeves) that helped keep the film close to fans’ hearts. Good thing too, as 1989’s critics weren’t exactly keen on Director Stephen Herek’s franchise starter - even accusing it of actively promoting stupidity. Thankfully audiences were kinder to the time-travelling alter-egos of writers Chris Matheson and Ed Solomon. Cut to 2019 and rumours of a third instalment never seem far from movie gossip sites - but what exactly do we know about Bill and Ted Face The Music? Let’s take a look...

Wait For It...

When we last saw Bill and Ted at the end of 1990’s Bogus Journey, they’d returned from a trip to a future where they’d finally fulfilled their fate of writing the music that heals humanity. However when we find them in Bill and Ted Face The Music - they’re still waiting for that particular beat to drop. Having transformed from dudes to dads, the duo must come face-to-face with the fact that they’re yet to achieve their world-saving destiny and embark on a jaunt through time to figure out why that is. It’s a theme that runs deep for Bill and Ted’s real-life alter-egos Matheson and Solomon who have lived with these characters (and their various ups and downs) since their early 20s - but it’s also a quest that’s universally relatable: What teenager didn’t think they’d grow up to conquer the world only to have reality get in the way?

Rufus Redux

One of the biggest question marks hanging over Bill and Ted 3 is how Matheson, Solomon and Face The Music Director Dean Parisot plan to tackle the absence of George Carlin’s Rufus. As their cool-as-ice guide through time, Carlin - who passed away back in 2008 - swapped his whip-smart stand-up persona for that of a laid back time lord, providing Bill and Ted with their time travelling phone booth and guiding them through ‘89’s Excellent Adventure and Peter Hewitt’s 1990 sequel Bogus Journey. Thankfully Rufus fans can rest easy in the knowledge that Carlin’s presence will very much be felt throughout Bill and Ted Face The Music in the form of Rufus’s daughter who makes an emergency visit to the San Dimas chosen ones to hit home the chaos that awaits if they don’t seal their future fates.

Back To Hell

While George Carlin may be absent in Face The Music, there is another familiar face from the franchise’s previous instalments that promises to make a return alongside Reeves and Winter. William Sadler’s portrayal of Death - complete with hood and scythe - became a fast fan-favourite following his appearance in Bogus Journey’s board-game sequences in Hell and while little is known about exactly how he’ll factor into the duo’s latest adventure, both of the film’s co-writers have let slip that he is due to make an appearance in part three. Could this mean Bill and Ted have to go back into key events from their past to help fix their future? Time will tell, Dude.

Time For An Upgrade

While Bill and Ted’s journey in Face the Music is very much an internal one, Matheson and Solomon have confirmed that it will once again involve sending the duo through the circuits of time. This means they’ll have to join Rufus’s daughter in their time-travelling phone booth if they want to survive their mid-life slump and write the music that fixes humanity's ills - and make no mistake - it will still be a phone booth, despite their lack of familiarity with modern audiences. That said, the brains behind the series have teased that this icon of a bygone time could have a few surprises hiding up its sleeve. Perhaps we should expect a few upgrades or alternate versions? It’s about time... 

Bill and Ted Face The Music is due to go into production this Spring. To read my retrospective piece on Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, head to the SFX page. 
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Culture Dump: Would You Watch A PIrated A Movie?

2/12/2019

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Simon Bland Freelance Entertainment Journalist
The run up the Academy Awards is always a hectic time for cinemas. As Oscar bait floods their screens movie fans flock to catch as many critically praised films as they possibly can before the big day arrives. It’s also peak season for another industry - one that arrives with none of the glitz and glamour of a movie premiere or after-show party - but one that hits its stride as awards chatter heats up. Movie piracy, from leaked awards screeners right down to shoddy filmed-in-the-cinema camera footage, very much still exist and is often just a quick Google search away. Its presence is nothing new. Piracy has been lurking in the background of cinema since the days of VHS - but with this new-found ease of access it’s worth wondering why there’s a ready audience for illegal pirated movies in the first place.

It feels like an odd juxtaposition. Despite the presentation of digital media taking leaps and bounds towards high definition and specifically tailored viewing experiences, there still seems to be viewers willing to watch a brand new release interrupted mid-way through by a punter with a weak bladder. Even more shocking is the fact that footage like this still exists and manages to make it online in the first place. Call us old fashioned but the idea of rocking up to a multiplex with a camcorder in-hand, hitting record and lasting the full runtime without getting caught feels not only dated but surely painfully obvious to detect. Reassuringly however, only around 24% of people admit to being open to pirating a movie while it’s still in the cinemas - but maybe the comfort afforded by home-viewing platforms like Netflix and Amazon Prime will soon skew that data. 

Alfonso Cuarón’s recent awards-hog Roma could be an interesting case-in-point. As a monotone foreign language drama, Cuarón’s personal tale of his Mexican upbringing is far from the most accessible movie for mainstream audiences more accustomed to superheroes and wars in the stars. However despite these populist hurdles Roma has quickly developed a word-of-mouth audience to match the critical praise its received. Could its Netflix accessibility have encouraged unlikely, on-the-fence viewers to take a punt on it when whipping out their wallets may have seemed too hard a bargain? With this in mind, maybe fans’ urge to watch even the dodgiest quality pirate movie comes from an odd place of support. When times are tough, disposable income is scarce and your enjoyment of an awards contender is far-from guaranteed - are viewers turning to piracy as a way to widen their cinematic tastes without the financial risk? 

It’s a scenario that’s far from ideal - and one that’s unlikely to end anytime soon. As long as there are new releases, there will likely be illegal streamed copies of them available online. The reason why people pirate movies may remain unclear but the ultimate resolution of this enduring dilemma seems to lie more with people’s morals than their wallets. Fans wanting to support cinema and the colourful voices its showcases will undoubtedly pay for the pleasure of being whisked away to a new on-screen world. There may even be a glimmer of hope on the flip side of the coin, too. While those pirating their movies lose out on the experience of seeing a zeitgeisty new release with a group of like-minded individuals, if their sofa-stint with a screener strikes a chord, it could transform them into a lifelong (and with any luck, paying) fan of left-field cinema. Here's hoping. 

Would you consider watching a pirated movie? Let me know in the comments below!
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Culture Dump: 25 Reasons You Should Probably Go And Watch Jurassic Park Again Right Now

11/10/2018

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It may have been touted as a film sixty-five million years in the making but a further twenty-five have passed since we were first introduced to Steven Spielberg’s dino-shaped landmark Jurassic Park. Its arrival in ‘93 marked more than just another popcorn blockbuster. This adaption of Michael Crichton’s high-concept novel signalled the birth of a CGI filmmaking era that’s arguably just as important as sound or colour. With this in mind, here’s 25 reasons (one for every year of Jurassic Park’s existence) as to why you’re probably long overdue a trip to Isla Nublar...

​1 - It Changed Movie Making

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It may sound like a bold statement but it's hard to imagine cinema these days without glossy CGI animation - and before Jurassic Park, it just didn't exist in the same way. Just as Citizen Kane is often quoted as the movie that cemented the popular movie narrative, whenever we trace the history of modern cinema, computer generated effects will be forever tied to the image of a T-Rex heading towards a gawking Sam Neill.

2 - Michael Crichton’s Book Was Ahead of Its Time

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With Jurassic World breaking box office records and Westworld keeping fans glued to their tellies, it’s clear that the work of Michael Crichton keeps getting more and more relevant. Back in 1993, DNA reconstruction and gene-splicing may have been brand new but today it’s old news, proving that Jurassic Park’s literary mastermind was way ahead of the curve.

3 - That Opening Sequence

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The storm, mysterious workers with rifles, the glint of a vaguely reptilian eye… We all remember where we were when we first saw the sinister opening frames of Spielberg’s adaptation and for a certain generation the memory of not knowing what comes next is something that has stayed with us throughout each revisit.

4 - To Revel in the late Stan Winston’s Work

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Jurassic Park will forever be known for introducing audiences to picture perfect CG but it also remains a prime example of the seamless coexistence of animation and practical puppetry. Thanks to the incredible handy-work of artist Stan Winston, the park’s threats felt tangible and we all emphasised with a sick triceratops. Talk about suspension of disbelief. 

5 - And Celebrate the last hurrah of Phil Tippett's creature Stop Motion

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“We’re out of a job,” mumbles Alan Grant after seeing the wonders of Jurassic Park. Ian Malcolm quickly interjects: “Don’t you mean extinct?” This exchange was reportedly taken straight from stop-motion master Phil Tippett after he saw the film’s groundbreaking visual effects and animation for the first time, knowing immediately that his hand-animated profession may be under threat.

6 - That First Big Reveal

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It’s not until the island’s power goes down that we get our first full glimpse at Jurassic Park’s primary villain, unlikely hero and biggest star - and with it, our first look at the raw potential of CGI. As the Rex breaks free from its paddock never to return, so does a filmmaking game-changer. Both cinema - and Isla Nublar - will never be the same again.

7 - The T-Rex Chase

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Warning: scenes in this film may be more memorable than they first appear - Like the super-tense T-Rex chase that tail-ends the film’s initial bout with chaos. Toy Story 2 successfully spoofed the moment where Hammond’s star attraction gets a little too cosy in the wing-mirror of Muldoon’s Land Rover. Surely that’s when you know you’ve made it into the pop-culture zeitgeist. 

​8 - Clever Girl

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As things heat up and the threat level rises, the deaths come thick and fast as Elle, Grant and the kids try to escape the island with their lives intact. There’s plenty of splatter moments to be found but none so sinister than Muldoon’s grim realisation that he’s been outsmarted by a creature from another age. Clever girl indeed. 

​9 - The Nostalgia Factor

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It sounds funny relating a feeling of nostalgia to a film that was only released in the early nineties but for a certain generation Jurassic Park will forever be associated with a key moment in their childhoods, perhaps in some case signifying their route into the wider world of cinema. 

​10 - The Fact That It Still Totally Holds Up

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Jurassic Park may not feel twenty-five years old but it certainly doesn’t look it. Revisit it on its 25th birthday and you may pleased to discover its storytelling and visual effects not only hold up but rival those in movies released in recent years. Impressive stuff. 

​11 - To Celebrate Alan Grant’s Brutal Hatred of Children

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​Remember when Alan Grant viscerally described disemboweling a chubby child who questioned his dino-logic? How could you forget! Dr Alan Grant is so stuck in the prehistoric past that he has absolutely zero time for the future - and that’s no bad thing. To him, teeth and claws weren’t the only thing worth avoiding in Jurassic Park - Lex and Tim can do-one too. 

​12 - Because The Sequels Just Aren’t As Good

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Jurassic Park has a rare power: No matter how far fetched new instalment storylines are, die-hard fans will go see them regardless, such is their love of part-one. Spielberg stuck around for Ian Malcolm's '97 sequel The Lost World but he was right to duck out before talking dream raptors appeared in Joe Johnston’s third instalment.

13 - Because Of Its Pure Quotability

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“That doesn’t look very scary…” “Spared no expense!” “Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether they could, they didn’t stop to think if the SHOULD” “Dino, ah, dro-droppings?” “Life finds a way…” “Mr Hammond, the phones are working” “Ian, FREEZE!” “Clever girl…” “You have a T Rex?!” “Dodgson, we got Dodgson here!” “Hold onto your butts!”  “Welcome, to Jurassic Park!”  - You get the point.

14 - To Witness The Start of a Franchise

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While subsequent Jurassic Park sequels never quite manage to recapture the magic of 1993’s original, that hasn’t stopped Universal from developing a franchise around Spielberg’s film. It’s no surprise, though. One look at Crichton’s original text reveals a wealth of rich story ideas that - if nothing else - provide a lucrative jumping off point for future feature ideas. Get comfortable, Jurassic Park shows no signs of closing its doors...

15 - To Soak Up John Williams’ Enduring Score

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​To single out just one of John Williams’ tracks seems silly. After all, the 86-year-old composer and regular Spielberg collaborator has single-handedly scored the childhoods of an entire generation. That said, the elegantly animalistic theme he dreamed up for Jurassic Park emerges as a gem in his illustrious back catalogue. Who else could have summed up the film’s themes of big ideas and good intentions turned rabid with such hum-ability? Spotify, anyone?

16 - To See The Moment Summer Blockbusters Changed Forever

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Spielberg’s mate George Lucas cites Jurassic Park as the film that convinced him cinema had finally reached a place where it could accommodate the high-concept aesthetics of the Star Wars saga. The result was 1999’s The Phantom Menace, a film that took Jurassic Park’s burgeoning computer animation and used it to bring an entire leading character to life. It was an experiment that paid off (sort of) and by the end of the 90s, these two features had bridged the gap for blockbuster movies to enter a whole new world of possibilities. 

17 - To Get A Strangely Disconnected Festive Feeling For No Real Reason At All

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Is Die Hard really a Christmas film? I guess we’ll never know for sure. Jurassic Park on the other hand sure as heck isn’t - and yet it’s hard not to get a festive feeling when watching it. Maybe it’s the constant Christmas Day reruns that’re to blame. After all, John Hammond’s big idea gone bad has been helping us digest Christmas dinner for almost three decades and as a result, it’s hard not to think of Jurassic Park as an unlikely Christmas film staple. 

18 - To Be Reminded That Not Every Summer Blockbuster Comes With a Cape

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Thanos may have wiped out most of cinema's heroes in part one of Infinity War (spoilers) but odds are they won’t be gone for long. With this in mind, it’s refreshing to reflect on a time where super-suits and double-identities weren’t such a common sight in multiplexes. Sure, the Jurassic Park series shows no sign of slowing but it adds a welcome variation to a popcorn cinema landscape that can so often be dominated by comic book adaptations.

​19 - To Experience Samuel L. Jackson Before He Was Omnipresent

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Samuel L. Jackson appeared in Jurassic Park in 1993. A year later his starred in Quentin Tarantino’s Pulp Fiction and cemented his place as a cinematic treasure with mainstream audiences. These days you’re just as likely to find Jackson in bargain bin fodder as you are in prestige Oscar contenders - making his early turn as Jurassic Park’s I.T. guy John Arnold a rare example of the actor at his understated best.

20 - For Some Spielbergian Nostalgia

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​Few filmmakers deal in such high-impact nostalgia than Steven Spielberg. While he’s tried hard over the years to distance himself from the saccharine sweet world of wholesome storytelling, it still remains his greatest trademark - and for good reason. The guy’s unbelievably good at hitting us right in the feels with films, stories and characters that arrive at just the right point of our collective development and Jurassic Park is no exception to the rule.

​21 - For Its Unashamed Hero Ending

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It wasn’t until half way through shooting that Spielberg realised that Jurassic Park’s T-Rex wasn’t the villain of the piece and was instead its hero. After a quick switch around, the filmmaker ultimately decided to end his story of the chaotic unpredictability of life and nature with another random moment - the T Rex saving the day. 

22 - For A Rare Glimpse At The Park In Its Prime

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It wasn’t until 2016’s Jurassic World that we got a proper look at the park in full working order - and even that didn’t last long. Ever since Grant’s chopper skipped off into the sunset at the end of part one, all we’ve glimpsed is shards of a shattered dream - with The Lost World skipping the original location entirely and setting up shop on Isla Sorna’s Site B. 

23 - Because It Doesn’t Seem To Age

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Maybe it’s the computer animation, maybe it’s the performances - but Jurassic Park is one of the few films of the 90s that doesn’t seem to age. Seriously. It doesn’t take long after hitting play for you to be whisked away into a prehistoric world of peril that’s hard to resist - even on your ump-teenth viewing. It’s a task that most modern day movies struggle to replicate. 

​24 - For Pretty Much Every Ian Malcolm Line

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​“How do you know they’re all female - Does somebody go into the park and uh, pull up the dinosaur’s skirts?” Jeff Goldblum’s perpetually smirking Chaos theorist Dr Ian Malcolm not only comes away from Jurassic Park with his life intact (just), he also gets to deliver some of the movie’s most memorable lines. Cut to 2018 and it’s no wonder his character has um-ed and ah-ed his way into meme pop-culture.

​25 - Just Because…

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The truth is: You don’t need any reason to revisit Jurassic Park - the film’s good enough to reward repeat viewings all on its own merit. So go on, you know what to do.

Did I miss any? Why do you think it's always a good idea to revisit Jurassic Park? Let me know in the comments section below!
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Culture Dump: 5 Things It'd Be Great To See in Indiana Jones 5

9/28/2018

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Grab your fedora and dust off that bullwhip, it’ll soon be time to rejoin everyone’s favorite archaeologist Indiana Jones in another adventure. Well, sort of. We may have to wait a bit longer than anticipated to see Harrison Ford ride back onto our screens (Part 5’s debut recently shuffled from July 2020 to July 2021) but with both star and Director Steven Spielberg committed to the character, one thing’s for sure: Indiana Jones 5 is definitely on its way. Whether or not Dr Henry Jones Jr will still be in search of fortune and glory remains to be seen but in the meantime, here’s a handful of things we’d love to see in Indy’s new outing...

​A Believable Mcguffin

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​As with all Indiana Jones stories, securing a believable Mcguffin (a plot-triggering item, person or device that all characters want) is the first port of call for Spielberg and his screenwriters. That said, information on just what mythical artefact Indy will be in search of this time around is currently unknown. Before the delay, long-time Spielberg-scribe David Koepp was on writing duty but unable to return for a redraft (he’s busy writing/directing You Should Have Left for Blumhouse), Solo screenwriter Jonathan Kasdan has stepped in to rework the story. With everything from Atlantis to The Bermuda Triangle rumoured, it’s probably too early to tell what the crux of Indy’s new adventure might be. Our hopes? Something not too out-there with minimal sci-fi-ties would be nice. We all remember what happened with those crystal skulls... 

​A New Era

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​In a recent interview, Spielberg revealed that Indiana Jones 5 will take place in the sixties, inviting speculation for a potential space-race backdrop. However this was before Koepp’s departure and with Kasdan on rewrite duty, Indy’s whereabouts could be open game. While chronologically continuing his adventures is the obvious choice, it’s worth remembering the franchise has been known to tamper with timelines before. 1984’s Temple of Doom was set two years prior to the events of Raiders of the Lost Ark and with The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull featuring a very finate closing sequence, perhaps setting Indy 5 before the events of part 4 could be worth exploring. Rewind the clock by just a handful of years and Dr Jones would be free from a son, marriage and any number of character ties, leaving him open to any kind of adventure. Want to ditch Mutt Williams? Here’s your chance. 

​A Few Familiar Faces

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Speaking of Indiana Jones Jr - while there are some characters we could do without seeing any more of there are others who we’d love to see in 2021’s instalment. It’s no secret that Spielberg tried in vain to lure screen veteran Sean Connery out of retirement to reprise his Last Crusade role of Henry Jones Sr for The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. While it’s probably even less likely Connery will return for this new one (especially having been killed off in Part 4), this could be a great opportunity to reintroduce John Rhys Davies’ larger-than-life Sallah into the fold. Better yet - perhaps Indy’s adventures in the sixties or seventies could see him cross paths with his Temple of Doom co-stars Short Round (Ke Huy Quan) or have another charged run-in with Willie Scott (Kate Capshaw)? Either way, the opportunities are there. Your move, Spielberg.

​A Dip Into The Extended Universe

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​Over the years, fans-turned-industry-professionals have tried their hand at continuing the life and exploits of Indiana Jones in a wealth of graphic novels and literature. While Disney did-away with all extended universe Star Wars stories after their Lucasfilm merger a few years back, as of yet the same can’t be said for Dr Jones’ off-screen travels. So far, a total of thirteen original Indiana Jones novels have been published, chronicling adventures as varied as Indiana Jones and The Sky Pirates to Indiana Jones and the Dinosaur Eggs. While some of these stories may prove too ‘out-there’ for a suitable big-screen adaptation (Indiana Jones and the Unicorn’s Legacy, we’re looking at you), it’d be a nice nod to long-term fans for Spielberg, Lucas and Kashdan to include a little inside lore into their new story. Fingers crossed.

​A Fitting Conclusion

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Right now, Harrison Ford is 76 years old. That means when Indiana Jones 5 finally hits screens in 2021, the star will be the grand old age of 79 - so it’s more than likely that this last quest will be Ford’s final stint as the fedora-donned explorer. We can hardly blame him, though. Sneaking through crypts can hardly be easy when you’re pushing 80. That said, if this is Ford’s last crack at Jones’s whip, then it better be a fitting send off. It’s a tricky task, especially considering both Last Crusade and Crystal Skull had chapter-closing climaxes. So far, Spielberg has assured us Indy won’t be killed off however the Director hasn’t ruled out a passing of the torch. Chris Pratt would likely be the Bookies’ choice for a suitable protege but wouldn’t it be fun to see a female Jones (or ‘Joan’ as Spielberg has previously suggested) lead the franchise forward? As long as Ford gets a suitable swan-song, anything goes.

What would you like to see in Indiana Jones 5? Let me know in the comments section below!
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Culture Dump: Do We Still Need Trailers?

5/21/2018

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In just a few weeks time we’ll be returning to Jurassic World where in all likelihood, all hell will break loose. We know this because we’ve seen the chaos teased in trailers - alongside the reveal that at least half of this planned calamity will take place off Isla Nublar in a new, previously-unseen mainland environment. Spoilers? Well, sort of - but apparently not spoilerific enough to make Universal Studios decide not to use this info as part of their pre-release marketing campaign. All those waiting for the lights to dim before discovering all of Fallen Kingdom’s secrets... well they might want to give social media, cinema trailers, telly - hell, even web adverts - a miss for the time being, as tricky as that may seem. 

And yet revealing (or heavily alluding to) major plot points in movie trailers appears to be becoming more and more commonplace, especially when major tentpole releases are concerned. It’s kind of ironic, especially when you consider these big-budget, CGI-heavy films are often the ones the majority of audiences will mindlessly flock to regardless. Usually sequels, prequels, series installments or spin offs; these franchises with built-in viewers are surely among the easiest sells in any film PR team’s release slate?

Adding to the problem is the fact that these same movies happen to be the ones that come with the highest risk of spoilers. If you’re a fan of this specific brand of spectacle cinema, you’ll likely want to go in blind to ensure maximum enjoyment. Sure, Infinity War requested viewers’ remain tight lipped about its key plot punches but not before dishing out a healthy chunk of marketing material beforehand. Anything eyebrow raising in the Avengers’ recent outing may have technically been new to viewers but it was hardly surprising. With this in mind, maybe it’s time to do away with trailers altogether? After all, it’ll hardly stop the likes of die-hard Star Wars fans from handing over their cash and it could even boost Box Office returns. Not feeling Fallen Kingdom’s military-bred dinos? No trailers leaves you none the wiser until your money’s left your account!

It almost makes you nostalgic for a time before YouTube, smart phones and 24 hour content accessibility. Back when movie news was a lot harder to come by. Imagine the thrill and excitement of seeing that mystery cliffhanger ending in Back To The Future Part II, fresh and for the first time - or unexpectedly experiencing the uncanny worlds of Blade Runner without a heads up. Sadly, these experiences could be a thing of the past - or in the words of Ian Malcome: ‘Don’t you mean extinct?’

Do you think we still need movie trailers? Let me know in the comments section below!
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Culture Dump: Whatever You Say Arctic Monkeys Are, That's What They're Not

5/11/2018

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Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino, the sixth studio album from Sheffield quartet Arctic Monkeys hit listeners' ears and immediately split them down the middle. Some were left grinning and chin stroking, admiring yet another deft surprise from the band’s smirking frontman Alex Turner. Others meanwhile were left wondering when the stadium-sized indie anthems the band have become known for were going to kick in. That latter group had a long and ultimately fruitless wait. Whatever you thought Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino was going to to be, this certainly wasn’t that. 

Although surely that’s to be expected, right? Look at Arctic Monkeys today and they’re almost unrecognisable compared to the scruffy indie-lads that burst onto the scene in 2006 with an endless supply of earworm hooks and mile-a-minute lyrics delivered in an overtly Northern twang. That record alone got so much airplay at the time that it quickly cemented itself as a definitive new wave Brit-rock classic, paving the way for similar acts whilst simultaneously birthing a brand new music scene. Fans ate it up and came to expect more of the same from these four lads from Sheffield. The band? They had other ideas. 

Each album release has been a gamble for Arctic Monkey fans - and with each the band has tried their hardest to change identity. From Turner’s greaser look for the 2013 unveiling of AM; complete with shades, leather jacket and slicked back quiff, to the mod-look of Suck It And See and their new long-haired European film star guise donned for this recent release - each collection of new tracks has come from, arguably, a completely new band. However isn’t that what all bands who withstand the test of time do? The Beatles, Radiohead, Blur - All three have transcended to legendary status and all three have universally dividing back catalogues of work and starkly changing personas. 

Those original indie fans stuck around for the ride though, patiently awaiting the return of the band that gave them ‘I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor’ while selectively filtering out the records that might not have provided the same rush (Humbug, we’re looking at you). Meanwhile other indie acts filled the gap, crafting a hit-formula with songs that can often be distilled into easily yelled sounds or football-adopted chants. The Sheffield lot returned to reclaim their crown five years ago with AM and its radio-friendly feel but now they seem to be at it again, itchy to throw their fans off the scent. Imagine the scene: crowds of eager Arctic Monkey fans at midnight Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino listening parties, patiently waiting for the band’s next indie ‘banger’ to drop. Hopefully, someone brought a pillow.

That said, it’s hard not to enjoy the whole thing. With wild new track titles like “The Ultracheese” and “The World’s First Ever Monster Truck Front Flip”, you can almost hear the grin on Turner’s face. Clearly, they’re in on the joke - and we should be too. After all, it’s no coincidence that the record that defined Arctic Monkeys with fans was literally titled Whatever People Say I Am, That’s What I’m Not. Good bands don't have time to get comfortable and the clues have been there all along. 

Did you enjoy Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino? Let me know in the comments section below!
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Culture Dump: Are Movie Franchises SUffering From Too Much Information?

5/4/2018

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Watch Out: This post contains *SPOILERS* regarding Avengers: Infinity War - If you haven't seen it, stop reading now… or don’t. I’m not the eye-police.

Having looked at the superhero movies that slipped through the cracks en-route to Avengers: Infinity War last week, perhaps it’s time to focus our attention on the main event and a slight issue that threatens to render all its years of planning and mystique a little flat. If you’re one of the few who’s yet to see it, here’s a quick catch up: spoiler alert - Thanos wins. After gathering all five Infinity Stones (a collection of non-edible, incredibly powerful jelly tots), the purple headed monster heads to Earth and with the combined power of the universe on his fist, clicks his fingers and instantly deletes half the population of the universe. Bad times. 

While us normies made up the majority of Thanos’s body count, a handful of Supers were also reduced to dust. Black Panther, Doctor Strange, the Guardians - even new recruit Peter Parker - are all lost to the ether as Infinity War closes on a particularly precarious note, forcing audiences to speculate on the fate of the Marvel Universe from now until the still-untitled part two arrives next May. What a cliffhanger, right? Well sort off. With fans’ feverish appetite for movie news - and with Studios overly keen to plan our their franchises years in advance - it’s sort of hard to get too caught up with the potential finality of Infinity War’s deadly closing twist. 

Let’s not forget - Marvel’s already fleshed out its slate until at least 2020, with Guardians of the Galaxy confirmed for a third volume and Tom Holland’s recently deceased Peter Parker confirmed to return as early as July 2019.  Combined this with the raw popularity of these heroes and rogues amongst fans and it’s hard to imagine Marvel following through with their threat of killing off half of the cast they’ve worked so tirelessly to assemble. It’s not just release dates that squash any sense of peril either. Sometimes, a quick look on IMDB can often confirm or deny the inclusion of potentially spoilerific cameos and plot-curves, erasing the surprise element that audiences often say they want yet seemingly love denying themselves of. 

That said, a handful of directors still seem intent on keeping the unpredictability of pre-Internet cinema alive. JJ Abrams’ had the Ewok chops to off Han Solo in The Force Awakens - and more importantly keep him dead - and his Star Wars successor Rian Johnson did a fine job of keeping Yoda’s return underwraps in The Last Jedi. With this in mind it’s worth remembering that Marvel has displayed similar gusto in the past, with Joss Whedon stopping Quicksilver in his path with a death scene in Age of Ultron. 

Throw in the fact that a handful of Marvel’s heroes are nearing the end of their contracts and perhaps Disney’s caped-cash cow is avoiding the curse of franchise TMI by pulling a fast one on us. Interestingly, its the Avengers’ most seasoned heroes like Tony Stark and Steve Rogers and not its cinematically deceased stars of tomorrow that seem destined for pastures new. Should we be more concerned for those who survived Thanos’ wrath than those who actually died? That’d certainly be one way to keep audiences on their toes.

Like me, would you watch a TV show called The Eye Police? Let me know in the comments section below!
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Culture Dump: The Superhero Movies That Slipped Through The Cracks

4/29/2018

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​Infinity War has finally arrived, marking the culmination of ten years of planning (and 18 cinematic releases) from Marvel Studios. It’s an undeniably impressive feat and one that’s not been achieved by any other studio to date, no matter how many Dark Knights or Kryptonians they have helping them. While the superhero genre currently reigns supreme, it’s not entirely been smooth sailing with some titles slipping through the cracks, doomed to an eternity in a HMV bargain bin. They may not have set the Box Office alight - and they’re certainly not without their flaws - but each has its own strengths that perhaps proved too divisive for mainstream audiences. 

Take Ang Lee’s 2003 Hulk, a movie that by today’s standards seems miles away from the light-hearted-yet-epic tone perfected by Marvel Studios. Instead, Lee made a movie that was pensive, dark and took its own time to tell its story. Undoubtedly it was the type of Bruce Banner tale Lee wanted to tell, even if audiences disagreed - and yet choosing Directors with differing and distinct styles seems to be the Studio’s winning recipe. Louis Leterrier’s 2008 reboot The Incredible Hulk upped the ante as Marvel’s second feature; ultimately a monster movie with considerably more action than Lee’s take but one that failed to match the financial return set by Iron Man. Throw in a fumbled relationship with its lead star and the future of this Hulk iteration was smashed in no time.  

Rival DC Studios has had worse luck. Their attempts to fast-track their own super group with 2011’s The Green Lantern fell flat thanks to an inconsistent script and some dodgy CGI but their ambition was clearly there. However, the silver lining of their attempt at lighting the Lantern was some impressive dedication to world building and the injection of some much needed humour to a comic universe that has a tendency to be bleaker than Batman's Pinterest boards. Sadly it wasn’t enough - proof that even though these franchises have unrivalled audiences on paper, they’re no guaranteed hit when it comes to bringing them to the screen. 

Then there’s the curse of forward planning. Marc Webb’s The Amazing Spider-Man double-hitter showed what a loved-up Peter Parker might look like while still at high school - a lighter touch that was counterbalanced with some nifty bad guys with vicious streaks. Unfortunately Andrew Garfield’s take on Spidey was cut short due to circumstance but the strain of an over-packed story lacking a clear direction was already starting to show at Sony. The race the compete with Marvel’s slow-and-steady trail of success has spelt doom for many who have attempted to go up against them. While these titles all fell through the cracks, it’s interesting to see what worked, what didn’t and to remember what stand-alone superhero movies looked like before interconnected universes were the go-to. Love them or hate them, it’s unlikely we’ll see their type again.

Do you miss stand-alone superhero movies? Let me know in the comments section below!
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Culture Dump: Is It Time For The Simpsons To End?

4/19/2018

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​Remember when Bruce Wayne was debating packing in the whole Batman thing in The Dark Knight and Harvey Dent suggested he might actually be on to something? “You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become a villain,” he said, shortly before becoming a villain himself. While it’s usually not advised to take the advice of supervillains, The Simpsons might be able to learn something from this Rogue Gallery baddie. Especially following their recent fumbled response to accusations of cultural appropriation regarding Springfield regular and Kwik-E-Mart clerk Apu. 

Miss this? Here’s a quick recap: In late 2017 TruTV aired stand-up comic Hari Kondabolu’s documentary The Problem With Apu, a film that explored exactly what its title might suggest by inviting a handful of recognized names to discuss the subliminal negative impact Springfield’s solo Indian American character has had on modern popular culture. Reaction online was swift and soon enough the question was raised as to how The Simpsons’ creative team might counter these accusations. It was a tricky situation made trickier when you consider that Apu has been around for the long haul and that he’s voiced by caucasian actor and voice artist Hank Azaria. If this was an episode of the show, they’d probably throw an awkward collar tug in right about now. 

As America’s longest running sitcom - one that’s deftly handled its fair share of hot topics with a combination of comedy and wit in the past - expectation was high. However instead of serving up a smart, considered response, sensitive to the social expectations of the day, the show’s eyebrow-raising retort fell spectacularly flat, not only shying away from addressing the issue head on but sweeping the whole conversation under the rug altogether. To borrow a phrase of another Springfield resident, it was probably the worst handling of a topical issue, ever. 

Maybe the show’s writers were banking on using the speed at which social issues like these come and go, hoping to offer a brief note, wait out the storm and carry on as usual. However instead of just being a rubbish response, this comes across more like the final nail in the coffin for a show that’s been in a steady decline for almost as long as its Golden Age lasted. When The Simpsons arrived in 1989, it had the gift of being fresh and undoubtedly paved new ground. If it wasn’t for Matt Groening and The Simpson family, it’s unlikely that we’d now have South Park or Family Guy - shows that have arguably taken Springfield’s format and improved upon it for a new generation. 

With this in mind - and with new shows, for new demographics, tackling new, topical issues in new ways - it makes you wonder whether we really need to see the slow demise of a once-pioneering show that’s now old and struggling to keep up. The legacy of The Simpsons at its peak is too sharp and revered to be handled this carelessly by a revolving door troupe of new writers. Suddenly, Harvey Dent’s advice sounds all too apt. Maybe The Simpsons has survived long enough to see itself do more harm than good. Maybe audiences need a little vacation from Springfield. 

Do you think we've seen enough of The Simpsons? Let me know in the comments section below!
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    Author: Simon Bland
    t: @SiTweetsToo

    Simon is a freelance entertainment journalist and this is his blog.

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